I am wondering whether I can persuade the cast of Blackadder to assemble
for one last hurrah. The plot will revolve around the growth of greed in Regency
England. It can make refer askance to the South Sea Bubble. The century is
entirely wrong but who will care?
Blackadder has become caught up in speculative frenzy. Being immoral but
not irrational he is not a very successful trader. He either cannot understand
or cannot accept that liabilities are actually assets and this weakens his
ability to trade effectively. Baldrick, by contrast, is making money hand over
fist trading turnips, night soil, the future value of Prince George's sock
collection, and so on.
Cut to Mrs Miggins's pie shop which is abuzz with talk of the positions her
customers are taking. Everybody has abandoned their trade in favour of
speculation. Suddenly Shelley, in his big girl's blouse, leaps onto the table to
decry the 'irrefragable injustice' of the national debt. He is pelted with old
pie crusts.
Conversation moves to gossip about new schemes, with a crescendo of
excitement around the potential of investments in a mosquito-infested swamp in South America. Shares
are increasing rapidly in value. Baldrick has abandoned his current investments
to put all his money into this new colony. Nobody is sure who is behind the
scheme but nobody can afford to be left behind. Eventually, Blackadder persuades
Prince George to trade the national debt for a share of the swampy settlement.
The inevitable happens and the mosquito coast is revealed to be worthless
and everybody loses their shirt, including all the Romantic poets who had not
been able to resist a flutter. Baldrick is philosophical about his losses, since
he is left with more turnips than he knows what to do with. Prince George has
transferred his debts to his subjects and still has plenty of socks. Blackadder
is revealed as the eminence grise behind the scheme but can no longer be found
in London.
The point of the plot is not complex but then neither is the fraud we have
all been subject to. What can we propose in terms of a happy ending? Baldrick
sets up his own currency based on root vegetables? The people storm the Bank of
England to demand direct money creation? Blackadder is tired for treason and his
flat in Cheyne Walk is confiscated? Sadly, this is the point where Prince George
wakes up and realises is was all a dream.
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